Straight Forward Parenting

Adolescents and Teens

Look at your teens just as you did when they were toddlers, in a sense they're learning to walk all over again. If they fall down, be there to pick them up and show them the way. Let them make mistakes, for these mistakes are opportunities to learn and try again. - Kelly, Parent to Parent Tip. Parent Soup. IVillage.Com. 10/2/00

How to Parent Your Tweenager.
by Dr. Mary Manz Simon

Your child has moved out of childhood to preadolescence, ages 8-12, and you start noticing changes in your child emotionally, physically, socially, and intellectually. This book gives you hands on strategies to work, communicate, and problem solve with your Tweenager.

Positive Discipline for Teenagers.
by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott

Every parent needs tips on how to talk to their teens effectively and respectfully; "Positive Discipline for Teenagers" authors Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott offer practical, concise advice on how best to keep the lines of communication open with a difficult adolescent.

Why Can't We Talk? : What Teens Would Share If Parents Would Listen
by Michelle L. Trujillo

Teenagers, especially in light of recent violent acts at schools, are in desperate need of understanding from their parents, yet many of them can't talk about the really important issues in their lives. Why Can't We Talk? What Teens Can't Tell Their Parents is written for teenagers by teenagers as a tool to improve communication and understanding between teens and their parents. The heart of the book is a collection of writings from teenagers from all economic, social and ethnic backgrounds who write with heartfelt honesty about the situations in their lives that they are unable to discuss with their parents. They also share their frustrations with their parents, who are often unwilling to listen. The messages from these contributors will help teen readers realize that they are not alone in the feelings, and will offer them alternative ways to express their concerns and fears.

Each chapter contains contributions from about twenty teens and ends with a recap of the main concerns by Trujillo, including observations, inspirational encouragement, and suggestions and challenges for future actions. Chapters include: Understand Me; Expectations; Communication; Trust; Divorce; Acceptance; Alcohol; Drugs; Sex; Advice to Parents; and Hope.

Parent-Teen Breakthrough : The Relationship Approach
by Mira Kirshenbaum, Charles Foster (Contributor), Mira Kishenbaum

A perceptive and helpful guide to building a respectful, loving, and effective relationship between parent and teen or pre-teen. With many sample dialogues and practical, concrete suggestions, the authors show how parents can offer help and guidance that a teenager will accept, and maintain a loving, non-combative relationship.

See Jane Win.
by Sylvia Rimm

"See Jane Win" is a parents' guide for turning girls into happy, successful women. Child psychologist Sylvia Rimm, along with her daughters--a research psychologist and a pediatric-oncology researcher--spent three and a half years collecting data and conducting interviews to devise the 20 basic points detailed in this book.

Adolescent Drug & Alcohol Abuse: How to Spot It, Stop It, and Get Help for Your Family.
by Nikki Babbit

The average American child smokes his first joint at age 14. If you're like most parents, you'll be the last to know. "Adolescent Drug & Alcohol Abuse" will teach you how to protect your child from potentially life-threatening experiments with drugs.

Teen-Proofing: Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager.
by John Rosemond

Parents can protect toddlers--with their maximum mobility and minimum logic--by pasting plastic on electrical outlets and putting poisons out of reach. But protecting teenagers is not so simple, says family psychologist and author of "Raising a Nonviolent Child" John Rosemond. "Short of solitary confinement, you can't guarantee that a teen won't use drugs, shoplift, drink or crash the car. In the final analysis, teens must protect themselves." Rosemond's "Teen-Proofing" provides parents with tough-love strategies for managing teens so they make self-protective, rather than self-destructive, decisions

Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense About Sex.
by Deborah Roffman

Is there any topic more controversial than the sexual education of our children? Parents worry about telling too much or not enough, schools are restricted in what they're allowed to discuss, and kids are filled with a combination of surprising misinformation and depressing detail on disease without ever having been taught about the possible benefits and enjoyment of feeling comfortable with their bodies. Deborah Roffman, a longtime teacher of sexual education for both children and adults, has assembled a thorough book that attempts to address moral and physical issues for every age. "The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense About Sex" is decidedly not for those whose sex speech begins and ends with "just say no." Roffman's take on sexual education is that it is a lifelong exploration that should encompass changing cultural values and an individual's personally evolving ethics as well as the practical facts of proper health care. Put plainly in one section's title, "sexuality is about people, not body parts." Including a discussion of gender roles and history, and appropriate levels of information for everyone from toddlers to teens, Roffman attempts to cover all the bases with a mix of theory, historical perspective, personal stories from her own classrooms and kids, and practice questions and situations that parents can eventually expect from their children. Breaking down this complicated subject, she identifies five core needs that all questions fall under: affirmation, information giving, values clarification, limit setting, and anticipatory guidance. This last category relates to parents' ultimate goal of making themselves "dispensable," secure in the knowledge that their children have been raised with all the information needed to make the right decisions for themselves--decisions that will result in a sexual health that blends their emotions, minds, and bodies with ultimate success.

Raising a Thinking Preteen : The 'I Can Problem Solve' Program for 8- To 12- Year-Olds.
by Myrna B. Shure, Roberta Israeloff

In most public schools today, children aren't taught problem-solving skills until high school--a time when they're often already mired in a variety of difficult situations. Raising a Thinking Preteen addresses this situation by presenting a well-developed program, ICPS (I Can Problem Solve), that's designed to help children think clearly about their actions and emotions by considering different viewpoints, solutions, and possible consequences. Every child can benefit from the concepts here; as author Myrna Shure says, "there is no ceiling or upper limit when it comes to learning interpersonal skills." The book begins with some practical basics--especially useful are some simple games that will help develop the vocabulary your child will use to discuss his feelings. Not every 8-year-old can define embarrassed or frustrated very easily! This parent-friendly guide focuses on everyday occurrences and practical improvements rather than theoretical possibilities; as a result, each chapter is full of real-life examples and suggestions for teaching these techniques to your own children. Hurried parents who lack focused reading time will appreciate the way each chapter breaks down into smaller subjects--so those constant interruptions won't be such a bother. Jill Lightner

The Grooming of Alice. Suitable for 4th through 6th grade readers.
by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

The summer between eighth and ninth grade promises to be full of chills, spills, and thrills for sensible Alice and her friends Pam and Elizabeth. From questions about kissing to their first experience with tampons to a dangerous flirtation with anorexia, the girls' summer is all about growing up. As we've come to expect from her expansive Alice series, Phyllis Reynolds Naylor leaps headlong into the teeming lives of teens, facing death, sex, and makeovers with aplomb. "The Grooming of Alice" is as satisfying as a pint of fudge ripple on a summer day.

Our Last Best Shot : Guiding Our Children Through Early Adolescence.
by Laura Sessions Stepp

A Pulitzer prize-winning journalist translates the behavior of young adolescents and guides us through this pivotal developmental stage.

Young adolescence, between the ages of ten and fifteen, is often dismissed as a baffling period, mistakenly lumped together with the later teenage years. Yet is perhaps the most critical time in the human life cycle, a fateful juncture at which unmatched physical and intellectual growth, expanding creativity, emerging moral sensibilities, awakening sexuality, and maturing emotions powerfully converge. Unsure of what constitutes "normal" behavior, parents can fail to distinguish between behaviors that signal healthy growth and those that indicate real trouble. Without this knowledge, they are in danger of forfeiting their last best chance to affect decisive changes.

After writing a series of award-winning articles on young adolescents, examining the existing scientific literature, and conferring with social scientists and educators, Laura Sessions Stepp set out across the country to meet and observe young people and their families over the course of a year. Through the stories of average young people she met in urban Los Angeles; Durham, North Carolina, and rural Ulysses, Kansas, she helps us navigate the landscape of adolescence.

Teens in Turmoil: A Path to Change for Parents, Adolescents, and Their Families.
by Carol Maxym, Leslie B. York

If you've got a teenager at home who is manipulating the family and refusing to live by your rules, consider the practical guidance of Teens in Turmoil. Using tools like "instant replay" of unsuccessful conversations to elicit more positive exchanges, you'll learn how to achieve better results from incidents like poor grades, missing a curfew, and lying.

Reclaiming Our Children: The Healing Solution for a Nation in Crisis.
by Peter R. Breggin

In response to the eruption of teen violence in our schools, noted psychiatrist Peter Breggin delivers a passionately argued yet highly prescriptive blueprint for healing our relationships with our children. From recasting our attitudes as parents and getting more involved in schools as volunteers, to restructuring class sizes, limiting homework, and fostering honest dialog about the pressures in our society, Reclaiming Our Children shows us the way to lasting peace with and among our children. Beginning with a dramatic shift in adult priorities that places children at the center of our lives, Peter Breggin demonstrates how we can create loving, disciplined, and inspiring relationships with all of our children.

Girltalk: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You.
by Carol Weston

Prized for its candor and honesty, this "fem-teen bible" (Buzz) has sold more than 80,000 copies and keeps gaining in popularity each year. Newly revised and updated, this third edition now features a fresh new look that makes it even more appealing to today's youth. Girltalk is written by the "Help" columnist for Girl's Life magazine.

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane).
by Gavin De Becker

Writes one reader, "This is the best book I've read to address the safety of our children. It is genius in its simplicity.... You could teach very young kids his tactics without ever scaring them. I give this book as a baby shower gift to all of my friends because it is that important."

The Nine Most Troublesome Teenage Problems And How to Solve Them.
by Lawrence Bauman

When adolescents begin screaming or withdrawing, exhibiting antisocial behavior or acting irresponsibly, it is a way of communicating -- and parents must learn to listen.

That's what this refreshing book is all about. It explores in a straightforward, easy-to-follow format the nine most common problems that parents encounter with teenage children: sex, loneliness, lying, boredom, bad school performance, no communication, anger, hanging out with a bad crowd, and irresponsibility.

Utilizing real-life examples, this invaluable guide is designed to teach us, as parents, not only how to listen, but to love and grow as we cope with the teenage years -- and to raise kids we can be proud of.

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